We do not begin with communication techniques, but with what is stopping you from truly hearing one another today.
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In couples coaching, I do not begin by asking how you could communicate better, but by looking at what currently prevents you from communicating well in the first place.
It is difficult to learn how to speak calmly while years of resentment, unspoken hurt, lost trust, anger, disappointment or things you may have forgiven in words but never truly resolved still stand between you.
That is why we first work with what is poisoning the relationship.
We open up what has long been avoided, recognise the patterns in which you repeatedly hurt one another and look for what really lies beneath arguments, silence, distance or the loss of intimacy. When I believe it can support the process, I may include hypnotherapy techniques in the individual part of the work so that we can work more deeply with emotional patterns that are difficult to change through conversation alone.
Only once we begin to clear what keeps you trapped in the old relationship do we build a new way of communicating and a greater sense of safety, intimacy and connection.
The aim is not to find someone to blame. The aim is to understand what happened between you, what still stands between you and whether it can change.
We do not only teach you how to communicate better. First, we remove what made you stop hearing one another.
You briefly describe your situation and consider whether working together is a suitable next step.
You open up resentments, hurt, lost trust and topics you have long avoided so that you can see more clearly what is poisoning the relationship.
You recognise what keeps bringing you back to the same conflict. When Petra believes it can support the process, she may include hypnotherapy techniques in the individual part of the work.
As unresolved issues begin to lose their hold, you build communication, safety, intimacy and agreements that are realistic in everyday life.
If your question is not answered here, you can ask Petra before arranging a session.
Working together requires at least a basic willingness from both partners to participate, listen and look at their own contribution to the pattern. You do not need to be equally motivated from the start.
The aim is not to find someone to blame or declare a winner, but to understand what happened between you and what still stands between you. Petra guides the conversation so that each of you has space to speak and be heard.
No. In situations involving violence, threats or immediate danger, safety and specialised professional support come first. The introductory conversation also helps assess whether this type of work is appropriate.
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Read the articleDescribe what matters to you and see whether this way of working feels right.
