Relationships
How to save your marriage: what it means when you both want to try
What does trying to save a marriage involve? A look at mutual willingness, honest conversation and changes that go beyond promises.
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For couples
Articles for when you love each other, but communication gets stuck, closeness has disappeared into everyday life or you no longer know how to open an important topic.
You can love each other and still talk as though you were sitting on opposite sides of a negotiating table. You can share a bed, bills and a schedule and still feel miles apart.
Here you will find articles that may help a conversation begin with less defensiveness and more curiosity. You do not need to read them together or agree with every sentence. It is enough to find one sentence from which you can begin.
Perhaps right now
Articles for the two of you — perhaps to read together
Relationships
Compromise in marriage: when agreement means giving up part of yourself
When does compromise support a relationship, and when does it hide unspoken needs? Petra explores agreement, boundaries and intimacy in marriage.
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Intimacy and sex
Men, intimacy does not happen by itself
When responsibilities and tiredness take over the day, intimacy should not become another item on the list. Petra writes about attention, initiative and making room for connection without pressure on the outcome.
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Relationships
A healthy relationship starts with a phone-free conversation
A relationship rarely turns into life with a flatmate overnight. Sometimes one small thing is missing: ten phone-free minutes in which partners truly see and hear one another again.
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Intimacy and sex
Men, experience is not measured by the number of partners
The number of partners is not proof of sexual experience. Experience grows through attention, conversation, listening and a willingness to learn what works with the person in front of you.
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Relationships
How to reconnect with your partner: seven unusual ideas for greater closeness
Connection does not begin with a magic formula. These seven slightly unusual suggestions may help you awaken curiosity, touch and closeness in your relationship again.
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Relationships
When your intimate life becomes predictable: bringing in something new
Routine is not the enemy of a relationship, but intimacy can become predictable. A few small changes agreed together can create more room for curiosity and play.
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Relationships
Why doesn't your partner initiate intimacy?
When one person always takes the initiative, it is easy to assume the problem is desire. Sometimes it is worth looking at routine, expectations and how partners invite each other into closeness.
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Questions that are not always easy to say out loud
Reader’s letter
I love my wife, but since she became a mother I no longer desire her
Petra answersHis desire has not disappeared, but it is no longer directed towards his wife. Petra responds on motherhood, sexuality and responsibility for infidelity.
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An affair made me feel alive. Does it mean my marriage is over? Petra answers
Petra answersDoes the excitement of an affair mean your marriage is over? Petra on responsibility for infidelity and what you are really looking for in a relationship.
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An open relationship without mutual desire: Petra answers
Petra answersYour partner does not want an open relationship but fears losing you. Petra explains why consent without free desire is not a sound basis for a relationship.
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Premature ejaculation: confidence and closeness with your partner
Petra answersPetra answers an anonymous question about premature ejaculation, performance pressure, confidence and talking with a partner.
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How do I tell my partner I have been faking orgasms?
Petra answersShe has faked orgasms for years and now wants to tell her partner the truth. Petra explains how to begin the conversation and explore what feels good together.
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How can I stop agreeing to sex out of duty?
Petra answersYou can love your partner and no longer want sex that you agree to only to keep the peace. Petra answers how to begin changing that dynamic.
Read Petra's answerAnonymous question
Does size matter for good sex?
Petra answersCentimetres may attract attention, but skill, confidence and presence make the difference. Petra answers whether penis size is decisive for a woman's pleasure.
Read Petra's answerWhen the conversation always ends in the same place
Couples coaching offers a space where you can slow down, hear one another and see more clearly the pattern that is creating distance.